Monday, December 7, 2015

Mission 8: Give Foregiveness

Reflect On Yesterday's Mission

Before moving on to your eighth mission, take a moment to reflect on yesterday’s mission. What was the hardest part of talking to someone new? Some people make new friends quickly, others need time to get used to someone new. What do you like or dislike about meeting new people? What qualities do you look for in a new friend? Discuss these questions as a class, or break into small groups.

I went with several students to a new school, a bit concerned about how we were going to be viewed and how our desire to share "opening difficult conversations" was going to be viewed.  The sequence the teens created for teens to open up was a good one,  We ended in a good conversation started, I AM activity.  The way the teens developed, facilitated and provided positive feedback was amazing.  The Youth LEAD teens were good listeners and provided the feedback that was needed for the conversation to continue at Metro Career Academe.  I guess for old and new friends, the most important part is to be a good listener and to ask the right questions- the ones that have the other person in mind, not a personal agenda.
Your eighth mission, Agents, is to give yourself forgiveness.

Think of a situation in your life recently in which you felt hurt and connected your hurt feelings to something someone else had done. You may have even blamed this other person for your hurt feelings, saying something like, "You made me mad!" Sometimes, even just remembering what happened can make you feel hurt all over again. In fact, did that happen to you now?

Take time today to notice that the hurt feelings you experienced or are experiencing exist inside YOU. That's right, the feelings come from what you are thinking and remembering in the moments in which you have them, whether this is two months ago or even now. But here's the catch: you can learn to control your feelings, rather than having them control you. It just takes practice. To do this, first recognize what you are feeling, and maybe even give your feelings names like sadness or anger. It might help to talk to someone you trust about what you are feeling.

Next, try to identify if you are blaming someone else for what you are feeling. If so, remember that you can control your feelings because they are yours. And you are probably having them because something didn't happen the way you think it should. Maybe a friend said something mean about you. That's not what any of us want to have happen!

This is where forgiveness comes in. It's been shown that true forgiveness takes place when people let go of their hurt feelings and replace them with positive feelings. This doesn't mean forgetting what happened, no. It's about a decision you make to see the situation differently. Maybe your friend was having a hard day or wanted something you have. It's not that they really believe what they said about you. It was just the easiest way they knew to express their unhappiness.

A really common response to feeling hurt is to want another person to feel hurt. That's called trying to get revenge and when we do it, we just make situations worse. Learning to focus instead on how to be happy and live a good life is the best way to let go of hurt feelings and practice forgiveness.
Agents, remember... As you fulfill your mission, share your experiences on theCompassion Report Map! Your report inspires others, amplifying the power of your compassion and generosity!

Going Deeper:

There is a wise saying that goes "Hurting people hurt people." It means that when our feelings are hurt, we are more likely to be unkind, grumpy, or snappy toward others. Understanding that about ourselves can help us understand our friends and family members when they are behaving this way. We can then let go of the cycle of hurt feelings by saying or doing something nice. That's how you practice forgiveness.

For Teachers/Parents/Mentors:

Spoiler!

All 11 Missions are available to be viewed here. Use this sneak peak as a way to plan ahead, or to review previous or missed missions.